Why is everything so hard for me?

Sometimes things don't work out exactly the way we plan it. Even when it comes to certain mitzvot, sometimes no matter how hard we try, we just can't seem to get it right. A few examples might be lighting Shabbat candles on time, praying without distracting thoughts, getting the Sukkah ready or setting the seder table in time for Pesach. Most of us feel disappointment or even anger and frustration when things like this happen. Let's try to understand why.

I once heard a lesson from Rav Shalom Arush, may Hashem bless him, on this idea, and the Rav explained it as follows. The reason we get upset in the above circumstances is because we were never serving Hashem to begin with. That's right, we were actually busy serving ourselves or at least our concept of how we felt Hashem wanted to be served. This is a very big flaw in the service of Hashem and it exists because we think we know it all and we think that we have control of everything. In truth, we must understand that we know nothing and we control nothing as well.

Now that we have the right attitude, we can properly begin to serve Hashem according to His terms and the way He desires to be served. If He wants me to sweat right until the last second on erev Shabbos, fine! If He wants me to have a half decorated Sukkah on the first day of the Chag, that's OK too! If He doesn't want me to start my seder until a half hour before midnight, I'm prepared to do that as well!

Now we can all just take a deep breath and relax. Hashem runs the world and not us. I have nothing to worry about or feel anxious about. I just have to try my best, and then see whatever it is that Hashem sends my way. This is the true definition of avodat Hashem, to give Hashem the control and just do His will happily. By the way, it may be that the very thing we feel we messed up on, is actually the most desirable avodah to Hashem, and is giving Him the greatest pleasure. Let's do it with a smile!